New Year… New Me? Nope!

1 Jan

Happy New Year Folks ✨

I don’t go in for all this “New Year – New Me” twoddle… I happen to like ‘me’. I always think if you’re starting a new year with massive expectations of yourself then you’re setting yourself up to fail. You can improve any aspect of your life at any moment in time. If there’s something you want to promise to yourself – then make it something personal & soul felt to you… like… embracing who are you. We all need little tweaks now & then or sometimes even major MOTs in the shape of a healthier lifestyle or a rain check on how we treat people. But don’t go thinking you have to make a 100% change of you are. I spent far too many years doubting myself & allowing others to put me down. I always thought I needed to change… but you know what? I removed myself from those toxic few & happiness followed ✨

One of the worst & best things that ever happened to me was having my right leg rebuilt. It was the worst in the sense that I had to endure 3 horrid surgeries with literally years of grueling physio. But worse than that… Still to this day I have to face people saying to me “well… you only broke your leg… get over it”. It’s the best thing that’s happened to me, for many reasons:

  • It’s made me very aware & sympathetic to hidden illnesses & disabilities that people go through & battle everyday. You look at me & you don’t see 24hr pain, 7 days a week. I mean physical pain in the form of nerve damage, arthritis & 3 collapsed discs in my spine. I’m not looking sympathy as it’s made me stronger. It’s also made me aware that people may need help & support… sometimes you need to ask the right questions… but when you do you could change someones life with a kind word or support ❤️
  • Being stuck indoors for almost 3 years collectively took me to the lowest point I’d ever been too… It really gave me time to reflect & analyse ‘me’. I started to see things that I’d never seen before. For all I was unhappy with my current physical situation of practically living in hospitals, I was actually more unhappy with the person I’d allowed myself to become. I was overweight… I was unhealthy & worst of all… I didn’t like myself. Not liking myself had allowed others to keep me down. If you have a low opinion of yourself & then others tell you you’re ‘rubbish’… well you just believe it. I had the misfortune of working with one or two people who found it acceptable to put others down in order to make themselves ‘better’. I mean… how ugly is that!? Well… I made a vow in Sheffield Northern Generals orthopedic waiting room that no one would ever put me down again. I also vowwed that I’d get healthy – not go on a mad restrictive diet… just, to get healthy with no unrealistic expectations of myself. I also promised to start ‘liking me’.  
  • Then came the ‘Glad Game’… rather than aspiring to be someone I wasn’t or looking at what others had – I made a list of every single good thing in my life… everything I was ‘Glad’ of. You know what… My Glad List was pretty long!
  • But… the most poignant moment in my life to date that came from my leg surgeries… meeting a Man who was going through the exact same thing as me – battling infection & bone misalignment. I was lucky… I managed to get through the pain & surgeries with 2 legs. Unfortunately he didn’t. His right leg was removed. I was devastated for him. It dawned on me that whatever I was battling… Someone had it worse. That was the day that my complaining ended… & my sparkle started.                    

Everyone has a battle in their life… no matter how small… it’s all relative to them. Just take a moment to appreciate you & what you have…. and if you’re not 100% happy with that, start making a few small changes. Those small changes begin to become BIG changes. It’s taken me from 2011 to get to this point that I’m currently at. I’m most definitely not perfect & I can always benefit from a few tweaks… But I’m so happy. This is perfect to me & that’s all matters.

Improvements can’t come from other people & on the same note – don’t change for other people… Do it for you. If you feel as though you haven’t got anyone to talk too… then you can always drop me a message via this blog. I’m no expert… But I’m human & I have a heart.l ❤️

As in my previous post, my resolutions this year aren’t about ‘change’… they’re about improving & maintaining. If I could, then I’d wave a magic wand to give everyone happiness… but sadly I can’t. But, I can always help you find your magic dust to sprinkle on yourself.l ✨

Last night before I fell asleep I watched that Shia LeBoeuf “do it” video, it’s hands down one of the funniest things I’ve seen… but… it does inspire me too. If you listen to the words he’s actually talking common sense… pair that with his actions & his tone then you’ll fall about laughing. But honestly… that video don’t half lift me. A motivational speech shouldn’t be serious & stern… it should be utterly hilarious like this one that makes you realise that you shouldn’t take things too seriously. Seriously… if you’ve not seen it – then click the link above. Save the link in your favourites for when you’re down… I can guarantee that it’ll give you a boost… & a good laugh

 #LifeGoals – my new favourite hashtag. Goals are imperative to my success. I need a goal to work toward. It’s what keeps me focused. My goal for the last 3 & a bit years has been to have a baby. But I needed to lose weight & become healthy. So I did. Now my goal is to maintain my healthy lifestyle whilst being the best Mammy I can be 💙

I didn’t actually mean for this post to be a total ‘ New Year – New Me’ rant… But I began typing & this is what came out. I hope it speaks to you & maybe gives you some kind of warmth or hope that things are changeable… if you want them to be ❤️

So… Happy New Year & thank you for reading,

Love & Huggles,

Hayley xxx

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